The military isn’t for everyone.  However, it definitely was for me.   Raised by the stern hand of an Army Vietnam Veteran positioned me well to succeed early on in my career.  I enlisted right out of high school into the Air Force (the decision to go into the AF vs the Army is another post) and hit the ground running.  I may have been duped by my recruiter about exactly what I signed up for, but decided to make the best of it as I didn’t see myself getting out of my commitment on anything less than a full effort.  Besides, I couldn’t return to my family who either served in the Army or Navy as a failure in the Air Force.  They would never let me live that down, so I put my best foot forward…which is your left foot, because you never start marching by stepping off on your right.

After my first two years I was hooked on the culture, mission and people who execute it.  I started to take night classes because that was the way to advance on both sides of the service (officer and enlisted).  I applied multiple times to the Academy and prep school but got rejected for various reasons, but mostly the reasons that revolved around my high school performance.  Aka my desire to play basketball and chase girls versus giving any effort to school work.  My education counselor, mentors and friends all kept me focused at the end goal of a commission which finally came via a ROTC scholarship.  This scholarship, plus my prior enlisted service, set me on a path to a full career.  I plan on writing another post focused on the benefits on serving a 20-year career and how it can provide generational wealth, but now the story of Lt Madden is more important.

While I was applying for a commission, my father asked me why I wanted to be an officer?  My first response was based on finances because if I planned on staying in for 20 years, I might as well get paid for it.  He quickly told me that was the wrong answer and while I disagreed at the time, I also was intrigued as what he thought was the right reason.  It was at this time he told me about his Officer In Charge (OIC) during his tour in Vietnam, Lt Madden.  You see, his OIC wasn’t in the Army for the money, he was in it to lead Americas finest through the toughest of times.  During his yearlong tour he put his men in a position to return home with honor, but also realized not everyone would return home alive.  My father spoke of him in a light that epitomizes the core values of all the services and said that Lt Madden led his troops the way he did because he believed the best should be led by the best.  Lt Madden, as the story goes, was close to returning home when he volunteered to lead a squad out to support another team that was pinned down by enemy fire.  He never returned and my dad lost his OIC, leader and friend.  His story made me realize that a commission is more than a title, it is a position to lead when others need it most. 

Rarely do I see or hear something that flicks my wick.  Most of the time I can activate my southern ways and “kill them with kindness”.  I do have some friends though who wear their emotions on their sleeves and are willing to let you know their stance in an elevated manner.  In this heightened posture is where most things go wrong.  Either something is said that shouldn’t have been or someone reacts in a physical manner.  Emotional intelligence is a tough skill to grasp.  An individual’s right to an opinion is part of our culture and values, but it is also the right of others to have opposing viewpoints.  I ask this, can you listen to something that you completely disagree with and appreciate the fact that your way might not be correct or that you can take in the conversation without exploding with anger?

I recently graduated with a Masters in Military History from a fine establishment in Alabama.  This level of education is a traditional path for most military members and is focused on each service’s background.  The school tackled differing war time theories, service history and joint planning to name a few.  The best part of a program like this though is that they teach from varying viewpoints.  They look at different opinions on major topics and events.  They tell tales of warfare from both sides which generate student thought.  Most writing assignments force students to take a stance and form an opinion with supporting documentation to back it up.  This degree not only professionalized my understanding of our military force, but also taught me an important lesson going forward.  I learned to seek multiple viewpoints and consider different factors when forming your own opinion.  I never really questioned why I believed in things the way I did, I just assumed the way I was raised or learned in school were correct.  Apply this to today’s worldly news or geopolitical environment and you will quickly start to see your viewpoints might not be as obvious as you previously thought.

My task for you today is to read the “other” new source, the one that you despise and hate because of the differing stance it approaches to the news.  The one that makes your skin crawl or elevates your blood pressure.  Read it, but love the fact that you can have an emotional response to a topic, but become a better person for it.  Appreciate a differing take on a controversial topic and seek to understand why someone might have a valid point.  Try to agree with them in this mental exercise and grow from the experience.  After you do this a for a few days, try and use it on your day to day activities.  When your spouse comes to you with something off the wall, seek to better appreciate that he or she might have a competing interest for the request.  Who knows, you might learn something new about the ones you love most.